The Year of Living Peevishly…Now Stop It Cuz TV Stinks!
*image credit: unknown
The rumored apocalypse is here. That certainly must be it. The pale horse with an orange tan is trotting, and his rider’s name is Tru—Dare I say his name? Darnit! Someone must, or the next four years news and social media is going to continue to stink to read, watch, or hear regardless of whose party flag—red or blue— you might like to wave. Anthony Bourdain reruns are only going to take us so far! It’s time to come to grips people. Donald Trump won the 2016 election. But since then, CNN, Fox, and MSNBC are so God awful to watch it has made Julie Plec (heiress apparent to the title “Worst TV Writer in History thanks to her smash ,against the wall like a cock roach, series The Originals) suddenly a worthy recipient of 48 minutes of my life. Get it together, adults in the room, or lose a country. Get the picture? Let me paint it.
The news networks (fake reporting, or otherwise) are single-handedly turning me from a well-read homeschool student with a daily interest in politics and current events into a root beer guzzling loser watching bad TV. Why? Because I can’t stand all the whining! Seriously, (fake?) news journalists, you have now reached even my whining limit. If you believed my mother, I’m the biggest whiner in the room?! How did you eclipse me? I’ll tell you how, and then I’ll end (and begin?) with a plea for you to stop before Greg Gutfeld becomes my new news fix. Rachel Maddow, do you not remember who you are?!
Let’s review. It all started when an extraordinary election night came to a close. In a stunning defeat, Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton did not come to the podium to graciously concede an election she should have easily won. She didn’t come to thank her supporters, lead them to the next step. Instead, she sent a lackey with a leaky email situation. Too bad he didn’t check his plumbing before he went nuclear with the snark against Catholics, blacks, and fellow politicks (see: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/dec/14/hillary-clinton-tech-staffer-typo-precipitated-joh/ ). That, and that alone, cost her the election.
Her opponent, The Donald, who will hereafter in this article anyway be named The Trumpster was seen as nothing short of a blowhard racist (including by many of his supporters if you believe the polls) ready and willing to take the horse reins of a government that any political elite could tell you did not belong to him. Imagine a high pitch voice screaming ‘those reins belong to me!’ and you’d have the atmosphere about right. Personally, I laughed like a hyena on drugs when I watched Paul Ryan choke down the champagne toast at the inauguration luncheon. While journalists called in sick to drag themselves to the DC pub scene, I just really wanted to know one thing. Were there any real knives in the congressional rotunda as the GOP ate and socialized? Anyone in the know had to be thinking of Caesar; as Republicans ate, surely the idiomatic knives were out.
No one was expecting The Trumpster to be King.
Sure, the campaign prior to the inauguration had been fun to watch. The soap opera was high, and the expectations were low enough Hillary should have limbo-ed that bar The Trumpster set with ease. Those 24/7 rants about the many scandals, quirks, and habits Donald Trump has, all of which seemed to poke the media more and more, were fun to listen to. While watching, I could debate with a journalist on TV that doesn’t even know I was yelling at them. But, like any good dish that you’ve eaten all day, every day, for the last year and half… it eventually gets old.
There’s only so much greasy cheeseburgers a girl can eat before she decides she wants a salad.
Sometimes I got that break. The occasional natural disaster would light up the screens (unlike the man-made one I like to call our government), or the death of a celebrity would return us to human beings for a few hours. Regardless of what it was, anything was better than listening to more Trumpster doom and gloom.
Because let’s be honest for a minute people. Your hysteria is unfounded, and that’s why you have to make TV good again. There are three branches of government, and so far they have done a pretty good job of protecting the people from tyrannical wizards with playing card last names. That Muslim travel ban that just doesn’t even deserve mention because it makes me angry just to think about, has been stymied and stopped in the courts. The Trumpster’s tweeting can be summed up in one word: “covfefe”; and I’d argue his credibility along with it. Oh, and worried about the Russians hacking us and that’s why voters picked Trump? You can stop the hand wringing about that too. If there is anything to the Russian scandal and Trump, there is an ongoing investigation that good people are leading. Robert Mueller is a George W. Bush appointee with a record bar none if CNN can still be believed…about anything (CNN).
So, relax, people. Way smarter scholars than anyone around today wrote a fantastic document that is doing its job…as long as we let it. The biggest error the founding fathers overlooked when writing on parchment was simply this: it’s flammable.
Go home, fire-eaters. We already fought that war.
Sources:
http://www.cnn.com/2017/05/17/politics/who-is-robert-mueller/index.html
