Can life be amazing living with autism? Rare calmness helps me to amend my body in order to look at how my amazing life really compares to being a typical child. I thought I was typical when I learned to walk. Boy, was I wrong. Believing autism has a purpose, to live an enriching, gallant, amazing life, gives me hope to reap strong determination to overcome.
The first comparison between me and a typical child is how we communicate. I am nonverbal. Why can’t I have hallmark tender speech? I am asking God. Candidly, when I was two years old, I gallantly strained meaningfully to make sounds generate from my vocal cords. Meek nonsense came out. Why is this garbage coming out instead of my words in my head? I bellowed in my mind. However, I hope that real language rallies with my mind and body because I have so much to say and give. I have learned to communicate by pointing to letters on a letterboard. I am similar to typical children now that I can point my full thoughts and show my knowledge. In contrast, being typical is having happy communication using their voice with their parents instead of harrowing muteness. I really wish I had great vocal language to tell my Moms I understand and love them but I am thankful I can point on my letterboard to express my love.
Secondly, another difference between me and typical children is how we interact and engage in leisurely play. I am not able to enjoy toys, only doing things in sequence and repetition. Why am I so different?! Screaming in my head! For instance, I was devastated when I was stopped from doing repetitive behaviors making chaos lethargic. Why are you stopping me? I ask this helplessly in my mind. Baffled and mad I was to stop. Concerned and worried, Mommy calmly came to me, moved my hands away and tenderly stated, “No opening cabinets. Let’s play with toys.” I can’t stop my body jolting to engage in repetition no matter how hard I try. However, being a typical child means having marvelous attention to playing with awesome caliber toys and games. I would see many children play and wished I could do the same.
However, some happy leisure play are quite similar to typical children and me but done in a different way. For example, I enjoy playing with my iPad and that really makes me feel somewhat typical. Elated I am to browse the web on my iPad to watch interesting elevators on YouTube. Having some needed sensory relaxation playing with my iPad is healing to me. I am sure typical children feel the same way when they are playing their video games on their iPads.
Next, I am comparing how sensory overload (lights, colors, sounds, crowds of people, smells and textures) has caused detriment living for me whereas it does not interfere with typical children. Waves of music harass my mind from everything that makes sound. My mind astronomically invokes every little mayhem making it hard to rest. My brain has everything coming in at full speed and full volume. In contrast, happy children learning gallant, meaningful lessons not worried about massive, hard sensory input. They do not hear every mayhem sound like I do. For instance, when I was at a birthday party, I could not enjoy activities because there was too much input and had to be held by my Moms for comfort while others had a fantastic time.
Now, I gallantly rally to compare how my expanded hearing is different from typical children. Defining extraordinary expanded hearing I have makes life hard to have rest and peace of mind. Deafening sounds and conversations are non-stop. You see, I am able to comprehend all conversations simultaneously. Immense information is coming inside my brain, no filters or barriers. I have been educated by hearing everything even though my body insists on marching to another tune. Why am I able to hear minute sounds and conversations? I am asking God and trying to gain meaning from all my abilities. Compared to a typical child, he or she is able to filter out noises and other conversations and they are not able to hear minute conversations taking place in other rooms.
In addition, another ability I have happens to be reading at an extremely fast rate. Have you heard war tends to cause PTSD? I was able to read about it in the newspaper when I was three years old. No one knew I could read. My brain takes an image of the text in a fraction of a second and I fully comprehend it. I thought everyone could read rapidly until I saw my Moms read. Whereas typical children read at a conversation pace.
Lastly, and most different, between me and a typical child is how I see auras around people and energy while typical children are not able to see these beautiful colors. Since I was two years old, I found I could see radiant colors around people that made me feel marvelous or scared. I thought everyone could see salvation in vast auras making waves of enormous, rich color. Deep radiance has beneficial calmness freeing my soul. Can real auras be from God? I gallantly ask in my mind. Marvelous auras become more majestic as I grow older and I can tell if a person is happy or sad by how illuminated their aura is at that moment. For example, when I was in fourth grade I saw my teacher’s aura having dimmer radiance and I told my aide with my letterboard that my teacher was sad. She went to talk to my teacher and told her what I pointed on my letterboard. No one else knew and she did not show anything else but her marvelous personality. My teacher came to me right away to say, “Thank you Baxter for seeing my sadness. I am worried about my Mom but she is getting better.” My aide stated to the teacher, “No one could tell you were sad but Baxter is able to see more than any of us.” By comparison, typical children are not able to see these beautiful amazing auras and witness colors of lasting marvelous emotions.
In conclusion, I have learned that there are inspiring differences and meaningful similarities with being autistic versus being a typical child. Living with autism defies calmness and meaningful language through my voice. In spite of all the challenges I face every day, I am making my life more meaningful by showing my amazing gifts and abilities given to me by God. Marvelous callings take me happily to see my inspiring, healing, valiant purpose in life and needed determination to live with hope. I make amended battle to be a typical child happy in my past, while freeing my soul to bring hope and purpose to my gifts that were unleashed upon me through my autism.
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